Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Happy Holidays

"Twas the week before Christmas when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."


... because I smashed that bitch with my shoe right on the counter top and put it straight through the garbage disposal just to send a message to all his other mouse buddies who might have the gall to sit right in front of my face and eat out of the grease trap of my George Foreman Grill while there's a salmon steak cooking on it and I'm trying to finely chop garlic two inches away on that same counter top.

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

8 comments:

CrimeNotes said...

During which a creature was most certainly being stirred by the bone-crunching blades of one bad-ass garbage disposal. Only a blender would have sent a stronger message to those grease-loving mice motherfuckers.

China Blue said...

Hahaha!

Sod being humane - nuke the bastards, I say.

Um, Merry Christmas x

Beauty School Drop Out said...

seriously?

Z. Madison said...

what a heart warming holiday tale... :)

it's also exactly the reason i own a cat.

xoxo - Z.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ryan.
It's category, not catagory.
I'm just saying.

Ryan said...

anonymous,

Thanks for the heads up, error corrected.

Consider my new comment box in the right margin for this type of comment in the future.

Thanks for the note!

Best regards and happy holidays!

-Ryan

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Eeew. I'd have freaked out if a mouse actually came right up to where I was cooking. Gives me shivers just thinking about it.

Miranda said...

That's some pretty good self-control. I'm afraid I might have just taken a swipe with the knife in my hand to kill it, which probably would be pretty f'ing gross.