By now, you should be aware of my deep seeded loathing of Patricia Kachura, the societal cancer that works for the Direct Marketing Association (DMA).
Since her job is to justify sending people millions upon millions of unsolicited advertisements and phone calls every day, I figured she would be happy to receive an unsolicited phone call from me. I left the following voicemail at her office today:
"Hello Pat. This is PissedAndPetty.com calling with a quick survey. How do you sleep at night? Thank you so much for your time and we look forward to hearing from you. Please give us a call at (646)XXX-XXXX with any insight you might be able to provide regarding this matter."
What's wrong, Pat? You don't like receiving unsolicited phone calls? Well, me neither, bitch.
Showing posts with label marketing and advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marketing and advertising. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Blowing of the Whistle
I want to draw more attention to a post I wrote a while ago. Read the link if you haven't already.The DMA are a horrible organization that decrease the quality of life worldwide on many levels. Basically, they are solely responsible for every type of junk mail on the planet. Spam and mailbox and telephone.
I have recently received several hits on this website from NYC and Washington government agencies via google searches for "Pat Kachura" of/and the "Direct Marketing Association", (DMA).
Anyway, due to the recent rush of hits I have received from government agencies relating to this post, I can't help but think that something is stewing. Cross your fingers.
I hope the prosecution calls me as a witness in front of the grand jury or some shit.
Friday, September 08, 2006
UPDATE: Pat Kachura, DMA
You have found this page because of this article I wrote involving Patrica Kachura.Patricia (Pat) Kachura is the SVP, Ethics/Consumer Affairs for the Direct Marketing Association (DMA). This is the organization responsible for junk mail of all types; e-mail spam, telemarketing, paper junk mail mailed to your home, etc.
For starters, the terms "Ethics" and "Direct Marketing" being used together is hilarious.
Even more hilarious are some of the comments that Pat has made on record. See the above linked article.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Nancy-Boy Media
I read an article on the Consumerist a few minutes ago that has my blood boiling.
In a recent story, The Washington Post addressed concerns regarding the Direct Marketing Association from an environmental angle. The DMA is responsible for unsolicited advertising such as telemarketing and junk mail. Basically The WP was asking the DMA if the millions of pounds of junk mail that they distribute, almost all of which is immediately discarded by consumers, is harmful to our environment. Forest depletion, landfill usage, etc.
When asked to address the subject, DMA rep Pat Kachura had the following to say:
(regarding paper junk mail)
"The Direct Marketing Association [is] far from harming the environment; catalogues help it, by reducing the number of cars headed to shopping malls....”
(dude, are you fucking serious?)
-and-
(regarding the imposition of possible governmental regulation on junk mail, etc.)
"We certainly wouldn't want to see a drastic and expensive and unnecessary government program created that would probably do more harm than good."
(oh jesus christ, c’mon man)
Now, I don’t really care about the environment, because I have a bizarre inability to consider anything beyond tomorrow, or make plans for the future of any sort. What I’m really pissed off about goes way deeper than the DMA and the environment on this one.
Here’s my point:
(deep breath)
I don’t understand why the media allows companies and officials to serve them a mammoth-ass load of glaring bull shit which they, the media, regularly swallow whole and pass on to us, the consumer. I mean what the hell already? Isn’t it supposedly the news media’s job to find the truth and bring it to the news consuming public?
Listen, I didn’t go to college. That being said, I would assume the reporter from the Washington Post would have a good education, and is reasonably intelligent. Fair? I think so. So if uneducated me clearly sees the transparency in Mr. Kachura’s statements, as should anyone who is not retarded, it would be safe to assume that the Washington Post reporter knows it’s bullshit too.
Why didn’t this reporter say to Ms. Kachura, “That’s bullshit. We both know it and I don’t appreciate you insulting my intelligence. Want to try again, lady?”
I mean, would that be so hard? Isn't that their job? Wouldn’t it make for a better story anyway?!
But that’s not what they do. They stick their heads in the sand and go, “Duuuuh, okay.” And that’s it. Nothing is different, nothing is fixed, nothing is better.
The DMA’s behavior in this matter is mirrored by corporations, governments and other regulatory agencies on a daily basis. I don’t understand why the media doesn’t call “bullshit” when everyone with half a brain knows its bullshit. I know its bullshit, you know its bullshit, everyone knows its bullshit but that doesn’t matter one iota because as individuals we don’t have a loud enough voice. I mean, I could write something on my blog in attempts to expose lies, but what good would it do when I’m only going to reach a hundred or so people? Not much. It’s not that I’m scared or unwilling to do it, it’s just that I know it would be a waste of time.
As the media, they have the power to make change. They choose not to.
I don’t understand it.
Grow a pair you fucking clowns.
UPDATE: Someone from the DMA just ran a google search for Pat Kachura and found this blog. Ten bucks says it's Pat herself. Hi Pat! Jerk.
Click here to read full update.
In a recent story, The Washington Post addressed concerns regarding the Direct Marketing Association from an environmental angle. The DMA is responsible for unsolicited advertising such as telemarketing and junk mail. Basically The WP was asking the DMA if the millions of pounds of junk mail that they distribute, almost all of which is immediately discarded by consumers, is harmful to our environment. Forest depletion, landfill usage, etc.
When asked to address the subject, DMA rep Pat Kachura had the following to say:
(regarding paper junk mail)
"The Direct Marketing Association [is] far from harming the environment; catalogues help it, by reducing the number of cars headed to shopping malls....”
(dude, are you fucking serious?)
-and-
(regarding the imposition of possible governmental regulation on junk mail, etc.)
"We certainly wouldn't want to see a drastic and expensive and unnecessary government program created that would probably do more harm than good."
(oh jesus christ, c’mon man)
Now, I don’t really care about the environment, because I have a bizarre inability to consider anything beyond tomorrow, or make plans for the future of any sort. What I’m really pissed off about goes way deeper than the DMA and the environment on this one.
Here’s my point:
(deep breath)
I don’t understand why the media allows companies and officials to serve them a mammoth-ass load of glaring bull shit which they, the media, regularly swallow whole and pass on to us, the consumer. I mean what the hell already? Isn’t it supposedly the news media’s job to find the truth and bring it to the news consuming public?
Listen, I didn’t go to college. That being said, I would assume the reporter from the Washington Post would have a good education, and is reasonably intelligent. Fair? I think so. So if uneducated me clearly sees the transparency in Mr. Kachura’s statements, as should anyone who is not retarded, it would be safe to assume that the Washington Post reporter knows it’s bullshit too.
Why didn’t this reporter say to Ms. Kachura, “That’s bullshit. We both know it and I don’t appreciate you insulting my intelligence. Want to try again, lady?”
I mean, would that be so hard? Isn't that their job? Wouldn’t it make for a better story anyway?!
But that’s not what they do. They stick their heads in the sand and go, “Duuuuh, okay.” And that’s it. Nothing is different, nothing is fixed, nothing is better.
The DMA’s behavior in this matter is mirrored by corporations, governments and other regulatory agencies on a daily basis. I don’t understand why the media doesn’t call “bullshit” when everyone with half a brain knows its bullshit. I know its bullshit, you know its bullshit, everyone knows its bullshit but that doesn’t matter one iota because as individuals we don’t have a loud enough voice. I mean, I could write something on my blog in attempts to expose lies, but what good would it do when I’m only going to reach a hundred or so people? Not much. It’s not that I’m scared or unwilling to do it, it’s just that I know it would be a waste of time.
As the media, they have the power to make change. They choose not to.
I don’t understand it.
Grow a pair you fucking clowns.
UPDATE: Someone from the DMA just ran a google search for Pat Kachura and found this blog. Ten bucks says it's Pat herself. Hi Pat! Jerk.
Click here to read full update.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Buy this CD or you will be sorry.
(Click to enlarge)
My girlriend may or may not be the bass player for this band. The CD is in stores nationwide and you need one to make your days happy. Pick up a copy or order one online.
It will make you smile.
Check out the official Columbia Records website: http://www.SusanCagle.com
As seen on MTV's "You Hear It First": http://www.mtv.com/news/yhif/susan_cagle/
More Photos, Videos and Music here: http://myspace.com/susancagle
Susan also has a two page feature in the July issue of ELLE Magazine. Write a letter to ELLE's editors and tell them that next month they should do an article on Susan Cagle's bad ass bass playing sister.
My girlriend may or may not be the bass player for this band. The CD is in stores nationwide and you need one to make your days happy. Pick up a copy or order one online.
It will make you smile.
Check out the official Columbia Records website: http://www.SusanCagle.com
As seen on MTV's "You Hear It First": http://www.mtv.com/news/yhif/susan_cagle/
More Photos, Videos and Music here: http://myspace.com/susancagle
Susan also has a two page feature in the July issue of ELLE Magazine. Write a letter to ELLE's editors and tell them that next month they should do an article on Susan Cagle's bad ass bass playing sister.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Me -vs. Record Label
I cannot remember the last time that I bought a CD either in a store, online or anywhere. This is particularly shameful because I work in the entertainment marketing industry, often for major record labels. More importantly, my girlfriend is a top-priority major label recording artist. No, I'm not telling.
This epiphany hit me recently and it nearly made me reevaluate my existence. I hadn't reflected on myself to this degree since Tommy Morrison knocked me unconscious in the 5th grade for saying to him in front of his toothless girlfriend,
"I don't care how big you are because sometime, somewhere down the road, I will own the grass that you will mow. Oh, and your girlfriend is disgusting but I bet she gives good... (POW!)" When I regained consciousness I recognized my error and put my jaw back into place like a real twelve year old man.
Moving on.
So, I decided that I would purchase a CD to kill the guilt of my professional negligence. I visited the website of the first major record label I could think of. The record label will remain nameless and will be referred to herein as "DumbDrum Records".
Like most websites, there are several options to choose from when exploring the site. I carefully weighed my options and decided to begin with the "New Releases" channel as this seemed logical. That's when I saw that the site hasn't been updated since 2005.
Put on your safety goggles.
Now, unless you have been sharing a hole with Hussein, you know that lately the recording industry has been raising holy hell in regards to declining record sales. They have even gone so far as to sue private citizens for file sharing. My question is this: What are these fucktards at DumbDrum Records doing over there when their most effective medium of reaching a worldwide market(their website) doesn't even bother to tell the consumer what products they are currently price-fixing? er, selling? And these shit eaters have the gall to bitch about declining sales!? Oh fuck, this really pissed me off and sent my wicked ass directly into orbit without passing "GO" and definitely without collecting my goddamn $200, which quite frankly I could really use right now. I digress.
Anyway, I decided to send DumbDrum Records an e-mail.
Verbatim, the e-mail went like this:
__
Greetings:
I am interested in the current happenings of DumbDrum Records' recording artists.
Upon visiting your website, I viewed both the "New Releases" and "Coming Soon" channels of http://www.DumbDrum Records.com., and was surprised to find that the most recent listing on either channel is dated Dec., 2005. It may surprise you to know that most reasonable people on this planet are under the impression that we are currently living in the third week of March, 2006.
Forgive me kind sirs, but I am confused. Does your company not distribute records for the first quarter of the year, or is this simply an oversight due to sloppy business practice? Again, I am confused.
Do you guys need some help over there at DumbDrum Records? If so, I might be willing to submit my resume for review by the appropriate parties, as I am certain that I would contribute to running a more effective operation.
Best Regards,
Ryan *****
**********@hotmail.com
(212)391.****
__
The very next day I received the below e-mail from DumbDrum Records:
__
Hello!
Thank you for sending us your letter - your comments are very important to us.
While we are receiving thousands of pieces of mail each day, we're sending you
this note as an automatic reply to let you know that we read each and every
letter, but do not often have the time and resources to write individual
replies.
That does not mean that we do not act upon your request(s)! Information is
passed on to the respective responsible parties to handle each and every
request.
Your submission is appreciated,
-DumbDrum Records
__
A simple equation for the readers: Automated response=Great way to piss me off more.
Eager to call their bluff and itching for a reason to blast off another wicked nasty e-mail to an industry leading corporation, I visited the website again to investigate their automated claim of impending action.
Well Holy Shit. It looks like someone at this company actually might not be chart toppingly retarded. All of a sudden the "New Releases" and "Coming Soon" channels of the DumbDrum Records Official Website were nowhere to be found. Gone. No doubt this is due to my wicked soul stomping e-mail that some nutfuck at this organization found to be of value. I'm sure these specific channels of the website will return to the page as soon as these shitclowns can pull their heads out of their asses long enough to actually tell their customers what they're selling, but that's not the point.
If I were an artist under contract to this label, I would be frothing at the mouth like a rabid bat on crack. Furthermore, if I were an artist whose record was released within the past four months which did not meet sales expectations, this company would have a serious problem on its hands in the form of a mammoth ass lawsuit.
I find it to be completely unacceptable that a forerunner in a multi-billion dollar industry who is not holding up their end of the bargain chooses not only to sue its customers but spends millions of additional dollars on massive media campaigns that whine about dwindling profit margins and piracy. Give me a fucking break.
***I have not been contacted by DumbDrum Records regarding a job interview. Go figure.
This epiphany hit me recently and it nearly made me reevaluate my existence. I hadn't reflected on myself to this degree since Tommy Morrison knocked me unconscious in the 5th grade for saying to him in front of his toothless girlfriend,
"I don't care how big you are because sometime, somewhere down the road, I will own the grass that you will mow. Oh, and your girlfriend is disgusting but I bet she gives good... (POW!)" When I regained consciousness I recognized my error and put my jaw back into place like a real twelve year old man.
Moving on.
So, I decided that I would purchase a CD to kill the guilt of my professional negligence. I visited the website of the first major record label I could think of. The record label will remain nameless and will be referred to herein as "DumbDrum Records".
Like most websites, there are several options to choose from when exploring the site. I carefully weighed my options and decided to begin with the "New Releases" channel as this seemed logical. That's when I saw that the site hasn't been updated since 2005.
Put on your safety goggles.
Now, unless you have been sharing a hole with Hussein, you know that lately the recording industry has been raising holy hell in regards to declining record sales. They have even gone so far as to sue private citizens for file sharing. My question is this: What are these fucktards at DumbDrum Records doing over there when their most effective medium of reaching a worldwide market(their website) doesn't even bother to tell the consumer what products they are currently price-fixing? er, selling? And these shit eaters have the gall to bitch about declining sales!? Oh fuck, this really pissed me off and sent my wicked ass directly into orbit without passing "GO" and definitely without collecting my goddamn $200, which quite frankly I could really use right now. I digress.
Anyway, I decided to send DumbDrum Records an e-mail.
Verbatim, the e-mail went like this:
__
Greetings:
I am interested in the current happenings of DumbDrum Records' recording artists.
Upon visiting your website, I viewed both the "New Releases" and "Coming Soon" channels of http://www.DumbDrum Records.com., and was surprised to find that the most recent listing on either channel is dated Dec., 2005. It may surprise you to know that most reasonable people on this planet are under the impression that we are currently living in the third week of March, 2006.
Forgive me kind sirs, but I am confused. Does your company not distribute records for the first quarter of the year, or is this simply an oversight due to sloppy business practice? Again, I am confused.
Do you guys need some help over there at DumbDrum Records? If so, I might be willing to submit my resume for review by the appropriate parties, as I am certain that I would contribute to running a more effective operation.
Best Regards,
Ryan *****
**********@hotmail.com
(212)391.****
__
The very next day I received the below e-mail from DumbDrum Records:
__
Hello!
Thank you for sending us your letter - your comments are very important to us.
While we are receiving thousands of pieces of mail each day, we're sending you
this note as an automatic reply to let you know that we read each and every
letter, but do not often have the time and resources to write individual
replies.
That does not mean that we do not act upon your request(s)! Information is
passed on to the respective responsible parties to handle each and every
request.
Your submission is appreciated,
-DumbDrum Records
__
A simple equation for the readers: Automated response=Great way to piss me off more.
Eager to call their bluff and itching for a reason to blast off another wicked nasty e-mail to an industry leading corporation, I visited the website again to investigate their automated claim of impending action.
Well Holy Shit. It looks like someone at this company actually might not be chart toppingly retarded. All of a sudden the "New Releases" and "Coming Soon" channels of the DumbDrum Records Official Website were nowhere to be found. Gone. No doubt this is due to my wicked soul stomping e-mail that some nutfuck at this organization found to be of value. I'm sure these specific channels of the website will return to the page as soon as these shitclowns can pull their heads out of their asses long enough to actually tell their customers what they're selling, but that's not the point.
If I were an artist under contract to this label, I would be frothing at the mouth like a rabid bat on crack. Furthermore, if I were an artist whose record was released within the past four months which did not meet sales expectations, this company would have a serious problem on its hands in the form of a mammoth ass lawsuit.
I find it to be completely unacceptable that a forerunner in a multi-billion dollar industry who is not holding up their end of the bargain chooses not only to sue its customers but spends millions of additional dollars on massive media campaigns that whine about dwindling profit margins and piracy. Give me a fucking break.
***I have not been contacted by DumbDrum Records regarding a job interview. Go figure.
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