Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Our Nations Young(er) People

I was reading random blogs today and leaving weird/funny/chastising comments whenever applicable.

After wading through hours and pages of inane bullshit I finally found a post on a 12-year-old girl's blog that I wanted to unload on.
(no inuendo here)

Anyway, believe it or not, I'm not a total asshole so I left the poor girl alone.

It was hard.

Very hard. (seriously, you need a psychiatrist)

Here is what's happening in Abbie's World:

7th Grade Dance (and more)

Okay, heres the situation. the dance is comeing up on friday and of course i dont have a date. I didnt expect to have one but... the guy that has a locker next to me lets call him jim (not his real name) Okay i dont know if jim likes me or not but hes kinda nice to me and sencitive (he thinks puppies arae cute). Problem he has only 1.5 arms. Im not being mean but if he asks me or asks me to dance i dont know what i would say. I dont think i love him maybe im wrong i dont know. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I mean, I wouldn't even know where to start with this one.

An entire thesis could be written on this.


monday said...

Yep. I'm so wanting to comment, yet so fucking speechless.

Z. Madison said...

I might have to add this girl to my blogroll.

Laurel said...

well, at least she was glass half full about it...she could have said something like, "yo, this dude is missing part of an arm"

... said...

this can't be real? I have to go back and read this again

Ryan said...


I know, right?


What got me more than the arm thing is when she's trying to decide on the fly whether or not she loves the 1.5 armed guy at the locker next to her that she doesn't even know. And for some reason she calls him Jim. I don't know. The whole thing baffled me.

Ryan said...


Oh, it's very real and I think it has viral written all over it.

Chris said...

my brain hurts.

stantonandorchard said...


ummm said...

I have to wonder, I mean, she did a nice thing covering up with the guys' name and all, but I think the 1.5 arms might give away the identity.

Big Daddy said...

He didn't ask her to the dance and she's ok with it. She has a crush on a guy in her Drama class.

It's kinda refreshing to read a non-snark blog.

Ryan said...

big daddy,

Thanks for the update. I checked back a few time after I posted this but she hadn't written a follow up. That's hilarious.

Like z.madison said, I really might have to add this girl to my blogroll.

In fact, I think I'm going to do that right now. Seriously. Check my blogroll.

(I'm laughing rather uncontrollably right now.)